What If Children Governed the World

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One might think the idea is crazy, and it is. Still, in consideration of the last six millennia of human management, children could not possibly do any worse than we adults have done. After 6000-plus years of ruler and ruled –the ego-sponsored binary class system[i]– we have put ourselves into a situation tantamount to that of cancers; proliferating in both number and impact to the point of killing our host, the good ol’ Mother Earth. We are still in Noah’s boat, metaphorically speaking, and in search of the landing; but because we are pulling on the oars in different directions, we might never find it. Nothing has, or ever will change, and things will continue to worsen up to the breaking point and the end of human suzerainty over the earth. We humans are more divided with respect to one another than ever, and at a time when unity and collaboration are the only operative strategies available to us, guaranteeing success. This means not only collaboration among humans, across all lines which divide us, but also collaboration with Nature, and with all other species, botanical and animal. From the beginning, adults have not provided what is humankind’s best, in the way of leadership.

Children, on the other hand, do not have the ’benefit;’ more accurately, the cumulative weight, of adult experience. Children are like the buds on a tree in Springtime. Their first moments swathed in the light of the sun. Under such propitious conditions, they begin life, just full of life. They are trusting -unfamiliar with the concept of lying or telling anyone anything but the truth. They believe what they are told, because it does not occur to them that other people would be anything but truthful with them. They do not put a price on kindness, sharing, or helping. They pursue no personal advantage with respect to ‘networking’ other than having more friends to play with. They maintain no hidden agendas, except maybe to pick their nose (as opposed to your pocket, say) when nobody’s looking.

Anyone can see that the worlds of adults and children, the processes and goals and, it follows, their outcomes, are in diametric opposition to one another; the reason is, ultimately, EGO.[ii]  I thought it would be fun to explore what the world might be like if today’s leaders were children still. I had a lot of fun writing this article!

 

-Trump and the China Sea- “What? You want to make some new islands and park some boats there? Can I come over and help? What about North Korea, Japan? Invite them too! Imagine the castles we could build…It’s going to be great!

-Putin bare chested on a horse- “Mom says I have to put my  shirt back on or I’ll catch cold.”

Xi Jinping- “There’s way too many kids in our sandbox! Maybe they should have their own sandbox in their own backyards, and then we can take turns playing in each other’s sandbox? Taiwan can have their own sandbox. What’s wrong with that? We’ll still be good neighbours, won’t we?”

-Justin Trudeau- “Mom says I have to get my hair cut tomorrow… [long face] …and I got to put on my shirt too…” [envious look at Putin, who already has hair on his chest, and even gets to ride a horse to school.] “Hey mom, can me and Vlady play bare-chested RCMP cops and robbers when it’s Summer again?

-Kevin O’Leary- Okay, there’s one of them in every class…

-Pope Francis-Look, it says right here: Be as little children. Why does Father even think we need to be told that? Has He ever known any of his children to behave as if they were anything else but? Kids wouldn’t make bombs or guns and so we don’t bomb innocent kids out of their sandboxes, even when their parents are mad at each other…but, say, if your best buddy gets you on about something, it would be cool to get on a stealth bomber and super-soak his sandbox from up there, wouldn’t it? No one would need to say a ‘Hail Mary’  over that!”

-Stephen Harper- Although it has been  a while since Gumby and his pal Pokey walked into any book for an adventure, Stephen always did his best to keep them alive. He so missed the two Claymation mavericks of his childhood, that he now does his best to look like Gumby and act like Pokey. Stephen can’t make sandcastles either. He always wants to build the biggest castle, but using less sand than everyone else does, to prove that he is smarter than everyone else. He couldn’t understand that if you fill your bucket with sand, and then hollow out the centre before you flip it over to make the tower, the tower will simply collapse in a heap. He would just stand there; staring at the piles he had made.

-Rona Ambrose- “I wish she’d come over and play with us” Donald says to whoever might be listening. “She doesn’t need to bring her own sand. We have plenty to share.” The Mexican kids who live on the other side of the Rio Grande look at one another in confusion. Donald just told them that they can play with rocks and wall themselves in, to keep them out of his sandbox.  “Eventually, the wall will collapse, the rocks will crumble and turn into sand…then they’ll have lots of sand to come and play with.” When Donald is asked why Rona doesn’t have to bring her own sand when the Mexican kids do, he says, “It is to promote gender-parity in my sandbox,”  wink-wink.  All the other kids know what Donald’s real reason for wanting Rona to come over is, but they also know he has a snowball’s chance in the warm place of going steady with her….she never even looks Donald’s way because she is always watching Justin, who even lives in the same building as her.

-Elon Musk- “Elon, your mom just called. You can’t play space invaders with us until after you clean up your own backyard.”

-Bill Gates- “Thomas Piketty, I say your theory is 99.9999999999% correct. The only change I would recommend is to add a couple of simple, three-letter words to it, like this: ‘During protracted periods of low GDP growth, if the return to investors is at a higher rate than GDP growth, what remains of the national income to be paid out in wages will [NOT] become progressively less;’ and, ‘we should [NOT] tax wealth in order to prevent the aforementioned from exacerbating wealth inequality, among and within nations, to the breaking point; very likely precipitating another world war.’ “

-Donald- Well, I think we all know how this tale will end… Donald alone in his own sandbox. He’s built the sides so high no one can get in there to play with him. He ends up very lonely and cries to his mom every day that he doesn’t have anyone to play with. Her answer is always the same: Stop being a bully and let his friends pick the game and make the rules up, once in a while. All of the kids in Donald’s neighbourhood  are wondering if he’ll ever get it. Young Justin, half his age, hinted at it, got into trouble, and had to stay after school to write out lines.

I must not talk about root causes or I’ll never get elected.

He’s still writing.

[i] The binary, ‘us-and-them’ worldview is an outcome of the ego’s existential view.  Please refer to the draft version of the manuscript appearing elsewhere on this site.

[ii] If you want to know why I keep picking on ego, please refer to the aforementioned draft version.