Our Worst Enemy is the Enemy Within

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When I cry, I know that I am in ego-mode. Consciousness-wise, I am in ego-space.

I cry a lot.

This must mean that I am in ego-space a lot. Where, evidently, I am often not happy; else I wouldn’t be crying so often.

In ego-space, I see the world through the lens of my ego/subjectivity. I relate what I see exclusively in terms of how it could affect me.

While in ego-space, I am conscious of any needs, wants, unfulfilled dreams, anxieties about things yet to occur…that sort of thing, and this drains my soul-battery/emotional-battery-bank, and I am become deflated and unable to focus very well on the things I want to accomplish.

When I do not properly manage my focus, my personal challenges compound, because I allow myself to become more reactive/less proactive by allowing my focus to ‘twist in the wind’…’Reactive’ is how you are when your thoughts are in the ‘driver’s seat’/controlling you. ‘Proactive’ is when you are in the ‘driver’s seat’/in control of your thoughts…

but this is not a constant battle to maintain my focus! It is not a struggle at all when I am engaged with something, anything, coming from the outside of my head.

When I am engaged with something, anything, playing guitar, writing a blog post, bathing or on the block-walk with the doggie, I AM FOR THE TIME I AM DOING IT, NOT CONSCIOUS OF ANY LACK OR ANXIETY OF ANY KIND.

I am in the moment. The Now. Consciously. Here, there is no Past. I am not thinking about anything from the Past and cannot therefore be feeling any regrets. Here, there is no Future. I am not thinking about what lay in the Future and therefore I cannot be feeling any anxiety.

Here, there is only the Now. For the time we are consciously in the Now (this is by Nature where we naturally are, like dogs naturally are), and, given that we are not conscious of Past or Future, WE, FOR ALL INTENTS AND PURPOSES,

CONSCIOUSLY EXIST IN ETERNITY. We (to wit: our soul-spirit-conscious mind), like our creator’s, exist outside of time and space.

Our physical bodies are the only part of the human ‘fabric’ to which past, present, and future have any relevance. Our bodies form, mature, and then decompose, returning to the Earth from which they arose, because they are bounded in Time.

Therefore, the doorway to joy/happiness is consciousness itself. We can only be ‘alive’ if we are conscious and we can only be conscious while/when we are conscious in/of THE NOW.

We cannot be conscious of the Now when we are crying. We cannot be conscious of the Now when we are arguing angrily with someone, especially someone we are emotionally invested in, because we cannot process what the other is saying; if we do not understand the other, if we only argue to make the other understand us, then we are in ego-mode, OUR EGO’S MODE, and conscious only of our own feelings, our own internal fire…but the other person has an ego too…

There will never be satisfaction obtained for either ego. Both will suffer, Both will go away empty-handed, not get what they were so desperately pleading and crying and yelling for, from the other. They simply doom themselves to repeat their mistake again, and again, and again…until they learn to embrace the Now.

The guide for us is the Golden Rule: use our ego to inform us wrt to our relationships with other humans (and other species).

Our mission/objective is clearly expressed in the Prayer of St. Francis:

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.

Where there is hatred, let me sow love

Where there is injury, let me sow pardon

Where there is doubt, let me sow faith
Where there is despair, let me sow hope

Where there is darkness, let me sow light

Where there is sadness, let me sow joy…

Oh, Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek

To be consoled, as to console

Be understood, as to understand

To be loved, as to love

For it’s in giving that we receive

It’s in pardoning that we are pardoned

In dying to self we are born into eternal life.

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.